How To Set The Tone

I dedicate this video to a dear friend who requested my advice on the subject. My hope is for her to discover the strength that is already deep within her, so that she can project out to others the Goddess that she already is and will forever be.


How to set the tone was born out of my desire to assist her and also because I, too, have the same issues surrounding people as she does and probably you, too.


When I was younger, I cared a great deal about what others thought about me, said about me and treated me. There were many nights that I lay in bed wishing that I could change someone’s mind about me. Thinking that maybe if they just took a  chance to get to know me, they would like me.

Fast forward and the only thing that has changed is me. People, all over the world in every walk of life and profession will always be clinging to hate and disgust. And most times, the reasons are centered around gossip and heresay. Sometimes people will hate you because of how you look, what you have acquired in life, your personality, your mannerism, and a host of other things.

If you spend all of your time trying to be someone else, so that you are accepted by many, you will never be anybody to anyone. It’s unfortunate, but a lot of people waste precious energy trying to gain the approval of someone else, because they have not gotten their own approval.


It took a lot of searching on my part to realize that other people didn’t have the right to define me or my reality. That the guy or girl who stood in judgement of me, were incapable of making the decisions that only I could make for myself. That someone’s opinion of me was just that .. their opinion which had nothing to do with Truth.


Once I truly realized this, I was able to set the tone for all of my relationships, no matter the person or people involved. If you liked me, that was a good thing. If you hated me, that was a good thing. However, my only real concern was my response to you, should you choose to be other than kind.


It’s easy to shield hate with hate. Courage, on the other hand, is for the brave and the few. Courage says in the face of fear and hate that I see you … really see you, beneath your disguise. That I know your fear and your pain because I’ve been there, too.


Courage, allows you to move forward in love, despite the actions of others … with a detachment that isn’t personal to you. It doesn’t invite others to mistreat you, but they are free to think about you however they choose, for that is their decision alone.


You will know how to set the tone when you have become secured in your own Higher Self. And when you get to that emotional space of not caring a rats ass about how others “see” you, you will know and experience a type of freedom that eludes many.

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How To Say I’m Sorry


So …  how do you say you’re sorry? Without beating around the bush, there is a right way and a wrong way on how to say I’m sorry. If you are truly sorry for something that you said or did to someone else and you are wanting to apologize for your actions, then it’s important that you take full responsibility for your part.

Don’t be tempted to apologize halfway or to use the apology to get something that you want, because if your intentions are anything less than honorable, you are digging yourself deeper into a hole, and putting a thicker divide between you and your freedom.

Many people are clueless when it comes to truly apologizing. They confuse it with throwing the blame to the other party. There are people who truly believe that they have every right to hurt you and demean you because of how you look, how you live, how you love, or what you wear “causes” them their reaction.

And further, they would not react a certain way if you would just stop being or doing whatever it is that disturbs them. This, my friend, is a social and spiritual illness and the masses have bought into this way of thinking and behaving.

When was the last time you truly apologize to someone? Too often people only seem to apologize after they are caught, or risk losing something or someone they “need.”  Why has our society attached weakness with saying, I’m sorry? Why can’t Presidents and Politicians admit that they are wrong?

Why must we lie, shame and guilt, just so we don’t have to say, I was wrong? And “my bad” doesn’t cut it. I’m talking about a full out apology where you speak from your heart, to the heart of another.

Not all apologies will be able to be given to the people or person that you wronged. But just like a prayer, you can set aside some time to reflect on your part, the hurt you caused another, and then verbally and with good intentions, send that thought out into the universe .. directing it towards that particular person.

If you believe in prayers, then you know this is a powerful practice because although something may not be physical in nature, it continues to have an effect on both parties involved.

Saying “I’m sorry,” is an act of courage and spiritual maturity. When you are able to ask for forgiveness, you will be more prepared to forgive others as well. Everyone at some time needs to forgive and be forgiven, without demands or extenuating circumstances.  Attaching all of the “reasons why” for your actions, is the Egos way of  refusing to back down.

Learning how to say I’m sorry, is YOU getting over yourself, and being humble enough to admit that you were just plain wrong.

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How To Love Yourself


Have you heard the saying that you can’t give what you don’t have, or that in order to love someone else you must first know how to love yourself.

There is truth in both sayings. It’s easy to love someone when they are meeting your needs and expectations but the real work comes when that conditional love is challenged.

Loving your own child, mate, or pet is a comfortable place for most people to start the process of learning unconditional love. However, when you practice the art of loving yourself, you begin to open doors to a greater self and cosmic awareness.

When you first embark on the path to how to love yourself, it will be rocky and covered with the weeds from past wounds. You might not think at this point that you could love yourself, because you don’t feel you could be really loved.

You see yourself through your emotional pain and not through the Love that is your birthright. Past abuse, neglect, betrayal, and heartache have you believing that real, honest, and unconditional love doesn’t exist.

Up to this point, that may have been the reality for you, but if you truly want to know how to love yourself, you must make it to the other side of the lies that have kept you in the dark.

How To Love Yourself

how to love yourself

You are not your pain. You are not your abuse. You are not your body, your money, or even your gender. You are the most precious commodity known to mankind. You are an expression of greatness and Love.

Love is what breathes life into your existence. You learn how to love yourself by accepting your true nature. You are spirit in the flesh. And by way of  this human experience, you will once again be married to yourself, in the Spirit.

This marriage to Self will erode the lies that speak venom into your thoughts. You will come to understand that although you are not perfect, you are perfectly loved. That your Creator shaped and molded you in a spirit of unconditional love.

You will slowly awaken to a reality that honors your higher self and wants for you love, happiness, and peace. You won’t get there over night, but if you stay the course to loving Self, you will experience the power of love that is already inside of you, just waiting to be discovered.

So, how do you begin the process to loving yourself?

– As stated before, accept that you are someone greater and more precious than your problems. That who you are is Love in physical form.

– Begin to change your inner dialogue. Stop believing the lies. Lies that say, you’re nobody, or that nobody will ever love you .. you’re worthless, stupid, weak, funny looking. Not only are those lies about you inaccurate, they don’t serve your highest good.

– Invest in your emotional and spiritual health. Learning how to love yourself will require you to open your brokenness to healing. The wounds of the past don’t just get up and walk away. You have to open them so that they can be cleaned out and healed over time. This might require the help of a therapist, friend, parent, spouse, or someone who has been where you are coming from and is where you want to go.

 – Choose to feel good now! When you feel good, you bring more good things and people to you. I’m not saying to deny reality or your current circumstances, but what you can practice on a daily basis is to do those things that make you feel good about you. Walking, listening to music that you like, singing, dancing, playing a sport, writing, cooking, fishing, etc ..

When you are doing something you love, that puts your vibration on a certain frequency and will in turn, draw more of that like energy your way. So if you are feeling good and can focus on that feeling, you are moving in a positive direction.

– Record your thoughts in a journal. If privacy is an issue, get a safe deposit box and keep your journals inside it. Write down everything that you feel and think about on anything. If the past has you captive due to some spoken or unspoken trauma, speak it on paper. Tell your story. This is the process of cleaning out old wounds, shedding the layers, and unearthing the lies and fear. This can be a really dark place to revisit so get help if and when needed and by all means, be patient with yourself.

 -Silence, my friend. Take the time to listen to the stillness within. Take the time to be present with your Spirit. Do nothing … just BE. There is a transcendent power that becomes you, just from doing this simple little exercise for a few minutes daily. Do not under estimate the power of meditation.

 -You learn how to love yourself by being good to yourself. That which you love, you treat with love. Treat yourself with respect, kindness, and care. And just as importantly, surround yourself with people who love, respect, and treat you with kindness.

There are no new revelations written in the article above. For centuries, there have been monks, saints, spiritual gurus and average people to walk the path of spiritual enlightenment. It is from the teachings of those who have traveled before me and have reached the promised land, that I was able to follow down this path to greater awareness.

Throughout all the experiences of my life, the good and the bad, I have come to know one thing for certain. It wasn’t until I really began to love myself, did I start to get glimpses of the Truth; Love, is the only Reality. All else is an illusion.

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How To Love Someone


If you are searching for how to love someone, look no further than your household pet. Your pet probably knows more about love, generosity, commitment, and patience than most humans.


Love means different things to different people, because not everyone is brought up in the same environment. One person might have learned in their family environment, that love was conditional.


That if you want to be loved, you will cooperate, you will be what others expect of you, you will make your family proud!


Another person might believe that love is defined by giving. That in order to truly love, you must always be giving of yourself to someone else, no matter the circumstances.


The list of what constitutes love is probably as endless as the experiences that people encounter in their quest to love and be loved. What might be love to you might be a sickness to another, or what might be “loving” to someone else, registers as abuse to you.


Allow me to define what Love is, so that when I begin to explain how to love someone, you will have a reference of where I’m coming from.


Love is an action. It’s being able to say the words, “I Love You,” and make good on it. It’s not conditional. It’s always and forever, and is based on the spiritual essence of the person or persons involved.


Love, is the healing response to humanity’s brokenness. It has nothing to do with race, gender, class, looks, abilities, education, or anything else that is used to define you. Love transcends judgement, and all of the other finite details of what has come to define humanity.


Love is spiritual. Love is kind. Love is understanding. Love is acceptance and yes … patient. Love is courageous. It’s being able to do the right thing, when others are immobilized in fear.


Love heals the broken heart. It sets it free .. like a bird in the sky.


Many people are born into a dysfunctional family and broken world environment, and have had their hearts rooted in fear, pain, shame, and guilt. However, there is hope. If you truly want to know how to love someone, love must first be ignited within you, otherwise it lays dormant.


Love is life and freedom … and until you have been infected with It, by someone courageous enough to ignite your flame, you will be living and loving on operations of conditions.


Love, pulls out the roots of fear and replaces it with the seeds of love. It exposes the lies of sexual abuse, racism, homophobia, sexism, and other injustices and strips them of their power over you.


Love is God. And God reaches all of us through the heart of another.


How To Love Someone

how to love someone


Love is courageous. It gives you the power beyond all power that is, or will ever be known to humankind. It can wipe clear years of abuse and neglect and make you feel like the princess you are. It can turn despair into hope and self doubt into self worth.


Love needs you, and you need Love in Its original and True nature. Anything else is a waste of your energies and time here on this planet. If unconditional Love within you has been awakened, if the fire of love has been ignited within your heart, you will KNOW how to love someone, just as a baby knows how to crawl and a cat, to meow.


Love will replace your fears and overtime, your ego will need to leave center stage. The “love” of an abusive parent or partner is an illusion. It wasn’t the real thing. It was their brokenness playing out on you.


Conditional love, is the most memorable act that gets the most applause, while unconditional love is the entire show.


Love … the real deal, is coming to you soon. It wants to plant a seed within your heart so that fear has no room there. It’s a spirtual metamorphosis. And when it finds you and infects you, you will never be the same.

That, my friend, is how to love someone. As you see in this article, it can’t be something that is taught or that you learn from a book. It has to be experienced. And once you yourself go through that metamorphosis, you naturally infect others without question.


Love simply becomes you … and you, It.


If you’ve enjoyed this article on How To Love Someone, please share it with others via the social shares buttons below this page.


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How To Be Less Stressed


You’re either reading this blog post because you are looking for ways on how to be less stressed, or you are already less stressed and are wanting to see if my stress relief techniques and tips are consistent with what works for you.

If you are the former, I have good and bad news for you. If you are the latter, keep reading and if you can offer anymore suggestions, please leave them below in the comments section (when available).

So let’s begin …

For those who want to know how to deal with stress, it’s important you understand that chronic and persistent stress can and will affect you on a physical,mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual level.

It’s been said that you become what you think about most of the time. So, if you think that bad things are going to happen to you, eventually you will start to expect that bad things will happen to you. If you are stressed over unpaid bills and are consumed with the thoughts of your unpaid bills, you will continue to get more of what you think about.

Hospitals are full of people who have become physically ill due to their mental states. The thoughts you think become physical manifestations overtime.

If you live day in and day out with constant worry and fear about the “what ifs” of life, you will suffer, period. Worrying is a waste of energy, not to mention that worrying never changes a thing. Think about it for a minute … what can worry change? Nothing good, but it will rob you of your energy and good health. You have to choose whether you want to continue to spend your precious time, wasting time … by worrying.

That’s the bad news!! The good news is that you can become the master of your thoughts. You can choose to decide how you will think and how you will feel. When you learn to do this, external events such as loss, heartbreak, health issues, and finances become manageable events.

When you understand that worry is fear disguised, you can take the necessary steps to diminish your debilitating fears, which will help you to be less stressed.


How To Be Less Stressed

how to be less stressed

So, how do you decrease the fear that causes your worry? How do you get your mind to shut off the thoughts and images that are playing the same ole song and dance in your head?

Just like someone who wants to stop smoking or who wants to lose weight, you replace one mental and or physical activity with one that is more desirable. You replace your thoughts of self doubt and dome to thoughts that are positive and hopeful.

Remember, you become what you think about most of the time.

This is not an exercise in denial of reality, but one where you choose to live in the present, and not in the past or in some distant future. The moment it hits you that you are starting to worry about some past or future event, close the trap to those thoughts.

Don’t entertain them or make a sad melody out of them. Just stop thinking in the direction of fear and worry and instead, replace your thoughts with what is happening in the now.

You must realize that when worry, fear, and self doubt takes over, prolonged stress and depression are sure to follow. It is not your job to control the universe and its happenings. Undesirable things and events will occur.

If reality doesn’t seem to match up to your expectations, learn to accept reality as is and deal with it the best way you can. Problems are not personal. However, growth is. You can and must choose to learn from your present problems and use them as an opportunity for growth.

You could also choose to be like so many others who would rather sit and be swallowed up by their problems, and believe that they deserve to be punished, or you can see them for what they are, a part of the human experience.

And just like anything worth having, or worth ridding yourself of (stress), you must adapt better coping skills to combat negative emotions that arise out of unmet expectations.

You must learn to:

– Live in the moment. – Accept reality as is and be detached from outcomes. – Be grateful – Help others and be patient with yourself – Learn to master your own thoughts and take responsibility. – Trust the Universe – Remain vigilant in your quest to rise above stress

Do these activities on a daily basis, while keeping the most fundamental principal of present moment awareness in mind, and you will surely see miracles happen on your journey to relieving stress and worry.

If you’ve enjoyed this blog post on how to be less stressed and can think of one person who might benefit from this, do NOT hesitate to share this link on one of your social media sites. You just might be surprised who needs to hear these words right now.


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 How To Control Your Anger


This topic is about how to control your anger. However, the ultimate goal is not, how not to get angry, but rather how not to let anger control your life.

First, allow me to define what anger is and what it is not.

Anger is an emotion. And if and when that emotion is expressed, it creates an effect on you, your environment and the world at large.

You might be angry and act through that anger, but it doesn’t mean that your actions are always consistent with your feelings. For example, MADD was probably created by a sad, hurt, and very angry mother who lost her child due to someone getting behind the wheel of a car while drunk.

Joe Walsh, lost his son to a sick pedophile and because of that, went on to structure a foundation that helps to catch and prosecute people who prey on women and children. These are instances where people used their anger for good and not bad.

You see, it is not the anger that is good or bad, it’s what you choose to do as a result of having gotten angry that paints the picture.

Often times anger occurs after some form of shock or disbelief. You lose a loved one, lose a job, a promotion. Your house burns to the ground. Someone cuts you off in traffic and “Oh my god!” you can’t believe that woman pulled over into your lane!!! Surely she saw you, right?

Your anger, could also be your ego feeling justified in its righteousness. By feeling or being constantly angry about something or angry at someone, you feel not only justified in your anger but over time, your anger becomes you. It becomes how you easily expressed an emotion that is other than happiness or joy.

You then start to attract more of that anger your way because you have become attached to it more than any other emotion that is also available to you.

Murder, rape, physical assault, stealing, neglect, cheating, speeding, lying, cursing, gossiping, pride, gluttony, judgement, disrespecting authority, etc are all reasons that may cause someone to get angry, but never are they reason enough for you to resign your own good judgement and compassion.

Do you see where I’m going with this? There are many forms of justifiable rage that we are all in agreement and comfortable with, but then there are the grey areas wherein you set your own parameters. And then there is the law … you must abide by it.

I would love to be able to sit here and tell you that if you did this and this you will never be angry ever again. But the fact is, some degree of anger for some people just might be the motivating factor that kicks them in the ass to do what’s necessary.

The anger, that has swelled up inside of you for years due to “your problem” might be the explosion you need to leave a situation that will never improve.

If you’re just angry for no real reason and are looking for ways on how to control your anger, then get in touch with some people who have a real reason to be angry. That should put things in perspective for you.

You could also choose to ask yourself, why? Why are you so angry and how did you get this way? Your anger is like food to a food addict or sex to a nymphomaniac. You have learned to cover yourself in your anger, because it gives your ego meaning, albeit false meaning.

That justification is also a lie. It’s an illusion. It has you believing that somehow, you are better, above, sinless (if you believe in that construct) and that YOU would never do such a thing as gossip, lie, cheat, or steal.

You notice that I didn’t mention rape, murder, or abuse. These are direct assaults against a person and deserve an “eye for an eye” response from a society that is compassionate but just. That is my opinion, of course.

Anger, being angry, is like taking a jog on the dark side of happiness. When you’re there, happiness is absent. Peace and love is gone. Anger is heaviness to the spirit. So one real benefit to getting rid of your anger is that it benefits you first, and then others indirectly.

If you are serious about wanting to learn the methods to how to control your anger, you will implement the techniques talked about in the video. You will want to:

  • Meditate daily and or every chance you get and feel your mind with only those things that make you feel good now.

  • Physically write down in a journal the “whys” beneath your the anger.

  • Stop, Take a deep breath, Observe your feelings, and Proceed with compassion and  understanding during times of frustration so that you minimize your episodes of anger and rage.

I hope that you got some value from this post about how to control your anger. If you know of someone who can benefit from this information, please share this page immediately.


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