How To Love Yourself


Have you heard the saying that you can’t give what you don’t have, or that in order to love someone else you must first know how to love yourself.

There is truth in both sayings. It’s easy to love someone when they are meeting your needs and expectations but the real work comes when that conditional love is challenged.

Loving your own child, mate, or pet is a comfortable place for most people to start the process of learning unconditional love. However, when you practice the art of loving yourself, you begin to open doors to a greater self and cosmic awareness.

When you first embark on the path to how to love yourself, it will be rocky and covered with the weeds from past wounds. You might not think at this point that you could love yourself, because you don’t feel you could be really loved.

You see yourself through your emotional pain and not through the Love that is your birthright. Past abuse, neglect, betrayal, and heartache have you believing that real, honest, and unconditional love doesn’t exist.

Up to this point, that may have been the reality for you, but if you truly want to know how to love yourself, you must make it to the other side of the lies that have kept you in the dark.

How To Love Yourself

how to love yourself

You are not your pain. You are not your abuse. You are not your body, your money, or even your gender. You are the most precious commodity known to mankind. You are an expression of greatness and Love.

Love is what breathes life into your existence. You learn how to love yourself by accepting your true nature. You are spirit in the flesh. And by way of  this human experience, you will once again be married to yourself, in the Spirit.

This marriage to Self will erode the lies that speak venom into your thoughts. You will come to understand that although you are not perfect, you are perfectly loved. That your Creator shaped and molded you in a spirit of unconditional love.

You will slowly awaken to a reality that honors your higher self and wants for you love, happiness, and peace. You won’t get there over night, but if you stay the course to loving Self, you will experience the power of love that is already inside of you, just waiting to be discovered.

So, how do you begin the process to loving yourself?

– As stated before, accept that you are someone greater and more precious than your problems. That who you are is Love in physical form.

– Begin to change your inner dialogue. Stop believing the lies. Lies that say, you’re nobody, or that nobody will ever love you .. you’re worthless, stupid, weak, funny looking. Not only are those lies about you inaccurate, they don’t serve your highest good.

– Invest in your emotional and spiritual health. Learning how to love yourself will require you to open your brokenness to healing. The wounds of the past don’t just get up and walk away. You have to open them so that they can be cleaned out and healed over time. This might require the help of a therapist, friend, parent, spouse, or someone who has been where you are coming from and is where you want to go.

 – Choose to feel good now! When you feel good, you bring more good things and people to you. I’m not saying to deny reality or your current circumstances, but what you can practice on a daily basis is to do those things that make you feel good about you. Walking, listening to music that you like, singing, dancing, playing a sport, writing, cooking, fishing, etc ..

When you are doing something you love, that puts your vibration on a certain frequency and will in turn, draw more of that like energy your way. So if you are feeling good and can focus on that feeling, you are moving in a positive direction.

– Record your thoughts in a journal. If privacy is an issue, get a safe deposit box and keep your journals inside it. Write down everything that you feel and think about on anything. If the past has you captive due to some spoken or unspoken trauma, speak it on paper. Tell your story. This is the process of cleaning out old wounds, shedding the layers, and unearthing the lies and fear. This can be a really dark place to revisit so get help if and when needed and by all means, be patient with yourself.

 -Silence, my friend. Take the time to listen to the stillness within. Take the time to be present with your Spirit. Do nothing … just BE. There is a transcendent power that becomes you, just from doing this simple little exercise for a few minutes daily. Do not under estimate the power of meditation.

 -You learn how to love yourself by being good to yourself. That which you love, you treat with love. Treat yourself with respect, kindness, and care. And just as importantly, surround yourself with people who love, respect, and treat you with kindness.

There are no new revelations written in the article above. For centuries, there have been monks, saints, spiritual gurus and average people to walk the path of spiritual enlightenment. It is from the teachings of those who have traveled before me and have reached the promised land, that I was able to follow down this path to greater awareness.

Throughout all the experiences of my life, the good and the bad, I have come to know one thing for certain. It wasn’t until I really began to love myself, did I start to get glimpses of the Truth; Love, is the only Reality. All else is an illusion.

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