How To Set The Tone

I dedicate this video to a dear friend who requested my advice on the subject. My hope is for her to discover the strength that is already deep within her, so that she can project out to others the Goddess that she already is and will forever be.


How to set the tone was born out of my desire to assist her and also because I, too, have the same issues surrounding people as she does and probably you, too.


When I was younger, I cared a great deal about what others thought about me, said about me and treated me. There were many nights that I lay in bed wishing that I could change someone’s mind about me. Thinking that maybe if they just took a  chance to get to know me, they would like me.

Fast forward and the only thing that has changed is me. People, all over the world in every walk of life and profession will always be clinging to hate and disgust. And most times, the reasons are centered around gossip and heresay. Sometimes people will hate you because of how you look, what you have acquired in life, your personality, your mannerism, and a host of other things.

If you spend all of your time trying to be someone else, so that you are accepted by many, you will never be anybody to anyone. It’s unfortunate, but a lot of people waste precious energy trying to gain the approval of someone else, because they have not gotten their own approval.


It took a lot of searching on my part to realize that other people didn’t have the right to define me or my reality. That the guy or girl who stood in judgement of me, were incapable of making the decisions that only I could make for myself. That someone’s opinion of me was just that .. their opinion which had nothing to do with Truth.


Once I truly realized this, I was able to set the tone for all of my relationships, no matter the person or people involved. If you liked me, that was a good thing. If you hated me, that was a good thing. However, my only real concern was my response to you, should you choose to be other than kind.


It’s easy to shield hate with hate. Courage, on the other hand, is for the brave and the few. Courage says in the face of fear and hate that I see you … really see you, beneath your disguise. That I know your fear and your pain because I’ve been there, too.


Courage, allows you to move forward in love, despite the actions of others … with a detachment that isn’t personal to you. It doesn’t invite others to mistreat you, but they are free to think about you however they choose, for that is their decision alone.


You will know how to set the tone when you have become secured in your own Higher Self. And when you get to that emotional space of not caring a rats ass about how others “see” you, you will know and experience a type of freedom that eludes many.

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